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Okay, so here it goes--I haven't updated anything past this point, but this is the Big Damn Announcement that will change on occasion. I'm still--yes, still, apparently I move with all the heady speed of ice ages--transferring files over to the new place. But things are going...well, SLOWLY, but they are GOING. I'm nearly a third done.

I'm pathetic.

I'll be moving here. See you on the other side!

Oh, and...I have an old story at this point at the Boozeff. It's called "Alphabezzis". It can be found under the "Happy Hour" link at the site below:


and I'll be transferring it here when I get the chance.

The current mood of kelandris at

You should read this before you read the stories.

NEW STORY! Do you believe it?? Sadly, it's boring. But, it's coded. So read it here
[Remember, the address now is, so don't write to Drakmail anymore. They don't exist.]

this week: "Fire Burn", "Liar, Liar" and "Portrait". More to come. Yes, I'm serious.

as of 2 October 2004: "Addicted"; "Dazed & Confused"; "Hurts To Cry".

as of 3 October 2004: "Dangerous Territory"; "Ten Minutes Over the Line"; "Somewhat Damaged"; "Irresolute"; "Even After Everything" (yes, the "Dangerous Territory" series, finally coded and available!). Also "Fool In Motley"; "Fool in Denim"; "Fool in Leather"; "Fool the Morning After"; and "Hurt" (sequel to "Liar").

as of 4 October 2004: "Jigsaw" (sequel to "Missing Pieces"); "Breaking Pattern; "Crazy In Spiked Heels"; "Dancing Fool"; "Drabble: Columbia's Fall"; "Fantasy"; "Favor Won"; "Fingertips"; "Alphabezzis".

as of 5 October 2004: "Makeup"; "Mindless"; "Monkey"; "The Only Time"; "Purple"; "Rave On"; "Repression"; "Roommate Out of Joint"; "Sky Fell Down"; "Song of Justice".

as of 8 October 2004: "Still the Boy Danced"; "Subtext"; "Sweet Dreams"; "Wear It So Well"; "Runaway"; "Seeds of the Pomegranate"; "Blond Hair and Eyeliner" (sequels "Seeds of the Pomegranate" and is sequelled by "Glittery".

Also, progress in the World's Longest Page Update: Everything's finally updated. I'm finished. Now, if you still have problems getting ahold of me, lemme know, and I'll check that story for miscoded address.
Also, I'm really thinking I need an official layout something for this thing. Not sure where I'm going to get one, mind...but at least I have a better idea who to ask...

Finally, we get some semblance of order in the World's Longest Story Arc. Here we go:

"Nascent" (currently in progress)
"Shut Up and Kiss Me"
"Have Mercy"
the unwritten "Springtime in Paris" (working title)
the unwritten "Giles and the Merry Widow" (working title)
ren's "Tunnel Vision"--done
"Light at the End"
"Tunnelling Under"--done
the unwritten "Back In" (working title)
the unwritten untitled sequel to "Back In"
"Can't Stay Here"
"Reflections"--still in progress
at least three, maybe up to six more stories tying up all the loose ends here...

And there you have it. So far all I have; indications of more to come. I might be done with this series before I die!

The Burning Question
What's Jason gonna do now?

Regrow his hair.
Move in with Kevin and Jen.
Find a job at the car wash.
Find a job in an office.
Turn pro painting Warhammer figures.
Become a ballerina.
Go back on drugs.
Move into his own place.
Get all-over body tattoos.
Why do you think I'd know?

Current Results

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the original four:

"Gold" "Samson" "Anything" "Nothing to Say"

stories in no particular order (mostly Jay & Silent Bob)

"Fever" "Jersey Boy" "Deluded" "Kiss" "What Would Happen?"

"Shall We Dance?" "Falling in Love" "If Ever I Would Leave You"

"Swallowed" "Thunderstorm" "Argument"

"Interlude" "In Repose" "Hurts to Cry" "Certain Rhymes" "Nervous in Your Own Jeans"

"Demon Slaying" "Everything is Never Enough" "Never Everything" "Everything and Ever, Amen" "Not Just a River in Egypt"

"Still Not a River" "Crossing the River" "River Wide" "Missing Pieces" "When Muses Attack" "Twitch"

"Gin-Soaked Boy" "Midsummer's Night" "I Carry Your Heart" "My Only Everything" "Whole New Thing"

"Glittery" "Exploratory" "Pretzel Logic" "Portrait"
"Going to Golgotha" "If I Did Not Love Thee" "Liar, Liar" "Fire, Burn" "Journey">

ren's "Tunnel Vision"--done "Light at the End" "Tunnelling Under"--done "Underground" ren's "Kilted Yaksmen"--done

stories in no particular order (original characters or other View Askewniverse characters)
"Descent" "Slingshot"--done "Shut Up and Kiss Me"--done "Have Mercy" "Feather"

"Quartet"--done "Dagger" "Poppies Poppies Poppies!" "Fallen" "Dense"


and the holiday stories (only 2000 coded)
"Tinsel"--done "Peppermint"--done

At some point I'm going to move all these linky banners to their own separate page...

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All original content copyright Kelandris the Mad, 2002-2004. All other content copyright original copyright holders. No intent to infringe is intended. Write to me if you have any problems. Close cover before striking. Please turn your cell phones and beepers off during the movie. Thank you for coming. Or something.

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