Author: Kelandris the Mad
Fandom: View Askewniverse, general
Pairing: Jay / Silent Bob
Rating: NC-17 for language, sex
Status: Posted December 10, 2000
Archive: wherever you want, full permission, just lemme know about
it. No, I don't believe grabbing it from the list requires a note. :>
E-mail address for feedback: Kelandris
Series/Sequel: Depends on how often New Jersey sees storms.
Disclaimers: All characters belong to Kevin Smith and the View
Askewniverse. If I really get into this, I probably will too. Or at
least go into hock when I walk into a video store, go into rut, and
buy all the DVDs at once.
Notes: Another one channeled from who-knows-where. Oh, yeah, and
credit to Alex for the line about how Jay just shouldn't be allowed
to wear clothes.
Summary: Bob gets an unexpected visit from Jay.
Warnings: Language. Some graphic m/m sex. Confusion, if not angst.
by Kelandris the Mad
A storm was blowing in over the tri-state area. Bob had watched dark,
scudding clouds cover the sky all day, and towards night, rain began
to fall in areas, followed by thick strikes of lightning close enough
you didn't have to sit and count. It cut their day a little short,
but Jay'd been twitchy anyway, these past couple of nights. They'd
watched *Pretty in Pink* again--Jay surprisingly voicing no protest--
smoked, drank some beers, went to bed. Pretty much the average night
at the old Bob 'n Jay place, Bob thought scornfully.
He punched his pillow around a little, laying back down, thinking of
Jay. Lightning crashed again and he sighed, thinking that in this it
was shaping up to be the average night, too. Lifting his hips, he
shucked his shorts to the floor, reaching down and wrapping his hand
around his stirring cock. Jay. It was all about Jay. Always wore
those baggy shorts, those oversize tops that he looked so good in
anyway. Effortless. Of course, living with him Bob saw a lot of the
rest of Jay, too. Jay in a towel, wrapped tight around his hips was
the stuff fantasies were made of. **Boy just shouldn't be allowed to
wear clothes,** Bob thought, his cock standing proud at the thought.
He had to fight down laughter, but played over and over in his head
that one moment when Jay had called him cute as hell. So conflicted.
**So unavailable,** Bob sighed. Oh, sure, there were the comments,
the looks that he freely misinterpreted, the fact that they spent
nearly every waking moment together...But Jay wasn't gay. Bob was
pretty sure of that. As far as that went, until Bob had met Jay Bob
wasn't gay either, so that blew that theory. His hand picked up a
good rhythm, stroking, clenching, and Bob shut his eyes, dreaming of
Jay's perfect skin, Jay's mouth, Jay's quirky sense of humor...Jay's
The sound shredded the night air, nearly knocking Bob out of bed with
the force of it. His eyes snapped open, startled. He had just thrown
back the sheets and was preparing to slide on a pair of shorts to go
check on Jay, when the connecting door opened between their rooms.
Jay, of course, stood there, thin arms wrapped around his torso,
"Bob...c'n I come sleep with you?" His voice sounded as thin as he
was, and more lost.
Silent Bob swallowed, remembering the shorts on the floor. "Uh--"
Taking that as assent, moving like he was afraid of the room behind
him, he scurried to Bob's bed, scooting under the covers and wrapping
his terror-wracked form around Bob. Bob moved away slightly, laying
back down, blinking in the near-dark.
**Well, we can always hope he doesn't notice, right?** Damn, and
he'd been so close. And it wasn't like feeling Jay's skin on his was
helping. He tried to turn on his side but was suddenly surrounded by
gangly arms, long legs. Jay's breath huffed at the back of his neck
as the blond pulled the covers up tight around them both. Bob tried
to sort the limbs into some semblance of non-privacy-violating order,
when Jay brought his knee up, grazing the head of Bob's cock.
Jay froze, looking at Bob. **Like I said...Shit.**
Whatever Bob was going to say never made it out alive. Jay's hands
started wandering, and Bob lost control of higher brain functions.
His long fingers moved slowly over Bob's chest, over Bob's arms,
inching down over the belly, curling just underneath in that
sensitive spot right at the base. Then those fingers curled
around Bob's eager, straining cock, and wrapped around him.
Bob was breathing heavy, and trying not to break the mood, when Jay
giggled. He shot a dark look at the blond, and Jay just smiled.
"Shut up," he said, then grabbed Bob's face, pulling him over to kiss
him. His hands still pumped at Bob, clenching, releasing, and Bob
began to shiver all over. Jay kissed him again, plunging his tongue
into Bob's willing mouth, and he began to moan. His hands turned to
Jay's slender hips, moved up to the chest, bringing him close. He
could feel Jay was hard too, thrusting against the curve of his hip
and murmuring under his breath.
This was too good. This was everything he'd been fantasizing about
earlier. Lightning crashed again, briefly illuminating Jay, now
moving down his chest to suck on his nipples. Holy fuck, the mouth on
that boy...He began to pray he'd decide to move all the way down.
But just the thought of that was enough for Bob to jackknife off the
bed, spasming, coating Jay's hands in sticky fluid. Jay came soon
after, thrusting into the circle of Bob's fingers, saying "Oh yeah,
oh yeah, ohyeah" over and over.
Reaching up, Bob got a towel, helping to clean them both up, and then
straightened on the bed as Jay cuddled up against him.
**Man, I could really get used to this shit,** he thought, and then
fell into happy unconsciousness.
The next morning, he woke to hear Jay humming outside his door. He
got up, nearly blinded by bright sunlight sparkling through his
window, and threw something on from the pile of clean clothes in the
basket he still hadn't gotten around to folding yet. Walking out
into the living room, he saw Jay with a coffeepot in one hand, a
donut in the other.
"Went down to the market, dude, had this craving," Jay explained
around lemon filling. He gestured dangerously with the pot. "You
want a cup?"
Baffled, Bob nodded, and stared at the dark liquid in the cup Jay
"Dude, I got a call from Tone, says there's this party out at Mia's
tonight. Tits will abound, my man, and we might make some sales, you
dig? Snooch to the nootch, baby, we gonna bang some sluts!" Hooting,
he turned around, rinsing out his cup and putting the rest of the
donuts on the counter.
Bob turned, looking around the living room. Couch, stereo, coffee-
table. Everything in place. **Okay, so what's wrong with this
picture? What am I not getting, besides Jay?**
He set the cup down, catching Jay's attention. "About last night..."
"Yeah," Jay said, not meeting his eyes. "Fuck, I freak out in storms.
Everybody's got somethin', huh? I'm gonna call Tone back, tell him
the Bob and Jay will make an appearance." And he shimmied past,
heading for the phone.
Bob looked back at his coffee. Still no answers there. Maybe he was
Later, on the bus, Bob reached over, snagging an abandoned paper from
the seat next to his. He tapped Jay's shoulder, in the seat ahead of
"Looks like there might be another storm moving in," he said calmly.
His eyes flicked to Jay's. For a moment, Jay's eyes got round as
saucers, and looked panicked. Then a shudder passed through him and
he smiled, one corner of his mouth quirking up.
"Yeah, man, you wish. Noonch!"
Bob smiled, looked down at the paper, but the words blurred on the
page. **Yeah, Jay, I do wish. Man, how I wish. Every fucking day I'm
alive.** He shrugged, knowing there was nothing he could do, and
watched the world speed by from the bus window.
Kelandris the Mad
anyone want some okra cola?